Late Summer Staple

Our kitchen is overflowing with tomatoes (from the market) and basil (from our overgrown, poorly-tended garden).  I have been getting creative with my cooking, trying to incorporate these two ingredients into just about every dish I make.  Egg sandwiches with freshly sliced tomatoes for breakfast, hearty salads with thick tomato sliced for lunch, and killer grilled pizza for dinner.

Can you tell that I am extra hungry these days...what with all the breastfeeding and toddler wrangling?  You can work up a real appetite combining those two activities, let me assure you.  And this pizza is pretty much the perfect remedy to my ferocious hunger.  It takes about two seconds to make (which is all the time I have to cook dinner), it's healthy, and full of summer flavor.  I forgo pizza sauce, and instead cover the entire crust first with sliced tomatoes, then with a hefty layer of cheese, and lastly sweet corn shaved from the cob, and a sprinkling of basil.  I use Top This! pizza crust- simply don't have the time/ energy to make my own!  I either throw it in the oven, or on the grill...and voila...a simple, delicious dinner.  What's cooking in your late summer kitchen (bonus points if it includes basil and tomatoes!)?

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Weekending

There are hints of fall all around us, at the market, in the cooling night air, and in the fact that my summer baby is already a month old as of today.  Fall means back-to-school around our college town and for our family it means that my husband's work schedule becomes a bit more hectic.  This weekend I was alone with the boys for most of the waking hours while my husband worked.  It made me realize how much I depend on his help, his stopping in during his weekday lunch hour to lend a hand.  It also made me realize how lucky I am to have an involved, hands-on husband.  I can't imagine doing this job alone.

I think about my hard days, when I count down the hours until my husband returns from work, and realize that there are women who handle the weight of motherhood alone everyday- whether they are single mothers, have husbands in the armed services, or husbands who travel extensively for work.  My heart goes out to them.

As a wise commenter stated in my last post, we are not meant to do this alone.  It takes a village to raise a child- truer words were never spoken.  For those of us that live away from our families, we must depend on our friends, neighbors and spouses for help.  My goal this week is to become better at accepting help from the friends that so often offer it...even if it is something as simple as my friends who offers to bring me an iced latte from my favorite coffee shop.  I will say yes this week, and willingly share my load- I'm lucky to have people who offer, and with two, I need all the help I can get.

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Inside the Mind of a Sleep Deprived Mom

This has been my first week home alone with both boys.  I am beyond exhausted, but very proud of myself for not only having survived, but for having made it out of the house at least once each day with both boys in tow.  This is nothing short of a miracle, I assure you.  First, you have to pack for a small army, then you have to load up two in the stroller, or one in the stroller, one in the baby carrier, or two in the car seats...the combos are endless and none are easy.  Without fail, as soon as everyone is loaded in and ready to go...someone has a poopy diaper.  It's almost a given that this will happen, yet every time it practically brings me to tears.

Anyway...

After our morning outings, we all come home and collapse.  Or at least I do.  On the rare occasion that both boys cooperate and actually nap at the same time, here is what happens, in case you have ever wondered what goes on in the mind of a sleep-deprived new mom of two little ones:

1. Sit on the couch for ten minutes, not really believing that both boys are asleep.  Hear someone crying, check the monitor and realize it must have been in my head (I hear crying babies all the time now, whether one of mine is crying or not.  Weird.  Could that be the first sign that I'm losing mi mind?)

2. Realize I haven't eaten all day...rectify this by eating half a pan of cookies (rationalize by repeating to myself that breastfeeding burns 500 calories a day).  Feel guilty and decide to eat something healthy, something resembling a balanced lunch- toast with a slice of cheese...totally balanced.

3.  Aimlessly browse through my blog reader feeling a mixture of inspiration ("I should totally make that for dinner") which quickly wears off, and envy ("Wow- amazing trip, great outfit, clean house") which doesn't wear off quite so quickly.

4. Think about showering.  Decide that would require too much effort.

5. Think about changing my nursing tank, which has spit up running down the front.  Decide that would require too much effort.

6. Think about unloading the dishwasher.  Decide that would require too much effort.

7. Think about folding the overflowing basket of clean laundry.  Decide that would require too much effort.

8. Decide to take a nap, and just as I'm drifting off...

Vik decides he's hungry, again.  And shortly after we finish his feeding, a chorus of "mama" begins in Vijay's room. Another nap time bites the dust.

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The Good Ole' USA

Last week was just one of those weeks.  I won't bore you with the details, but instead, I'll give you the short list of what went down:

*mini-flood in our newly finished, carpeted basement.  four industrial fans and two de-humidifyers later, it is drying out.

*a bat in the house, swooping from room to room at 5am.  my husband managed to kill it with a tennis racquet, and i spent the next day panicking about rabies.

*a nest of wasps in our bedroom window.  fascinating to watch them build their nest, not so fun when they discovered a way inside.  husband to the rescue again.

*little vijay came down with a summer cold, meaning sleepless nights and trying our best not to contaminate the baby (unsuccessful, baby caught it anyway).

My husband and I are taking bets as to what's coming next...locusts perhaps, or maybe the bubonic plague.  I am hoping floods, bats and wasps are enough to satisfy our drama quotient for a while.  But in the midst of all the chaos, there was one particularly bright spot in our week.  On Friday, my husband became a citizen of the USA.  He was born in Canada, and although he will keep his Canadian citizenship, we have been working towards his becoming a US citizen since we were married almost five years ago, and he has been working on it since he was a college student in the US almost two decades ago.  A long, expensive road, to say the least.

It was an emotional ceremony, particularly because of what it meant to every person in the room.  Over 17 countries were represented, from Brazil to Japan, Bosnia to Madagascar.  As our national anthem played, and we recited the Pledge of Allegiance, there was hardly a dry eye in the room.  I am so thrilled for my husband, that after contributing his fair share to our country for so many years, he is able to call himself a citizen.

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A Weekend at the Farm

We made it out to the farm this weekend, all four of us...a sweet little family outing that left us berry-stained, bellies full and rather exhausted.

Vijay 'helped' us pick raspberries and blackberries, although they all ended up in his belly, and our carton remained empty!  I eventually had to shoo the boys off to the tractors so that I could properly fill our carton.

I'm still trying to figure out what to do with all our bounty- we've been having peaches and raspberries for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I don't really have the time or energy to can, and the kitchen is just a bit too hot for that, anyway.  Although...my mouth waters every time I think about peach jam, so we'll see...

On the way home, both boys fell fast asleep in the car.  My husband and I looked at each other with a mixture of pride and exhaustion.  A successful outing comes with a price...we were both in bed by 8:30pm, a minute after we put the boys to bed!

p.s. I wish I had sweet baby pictures to show you, but I was wearing my little one, and taking the pictures...so alas.  But I assure you, Vik was along for the ride, and although he slept soundly strapped to mama's chest, he quite enjoyed his first taste of the farming life!

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A New Rhythm

With each passing day, I am growing more confident as a mother of two.  Vik is just pure sweetness, and Vijay is already taking his role as big brother very seriously.  The minute he comes in the house from playing outdoors, he starts asking, "Baby, baby?"  He seems to be tethered to his brother by some invisible thread, drawn to him, always loving and affectionate.  When other kids at the playground try to take a peek at "his baby" he becomes fiercely protective.  I can already tell that being an older brother comes naturally to him...and it warms my heart to witness this.

We've settled into a wonderful routine, with the help of my mom (above, feeding Vijay- if you've ever wondered where his curls come from, now you know!) and husband.  Their support gives me the strength to get through each day as I learn to maneuver out in the world with two little ones at my side.  We are spending more time at home- enjoying our backyard, the tiny pool, and scattered lawn toys.  I can sit comfortably on the porch and nurse as Vijay plays safely in our fenced in space.

That being said, I have become a bit braver when it comes to venturing out- like yesterday's outing to the farmers' market...just Vik and I, while the rest of the family rested.  The market is my happy place, and I was so thrilled to wander through the stalls overflowing with late summer bounty.

 (gorgeous bouquets from Robin Hollow Farm)

I came home with my market basket overflowing....sweet corn, cherry tomatoes, crisp lettuce, purple string beans, blackberries, red, yellow and purple bell peppers, nectarines, peaches, plums...oh, the list goes on and on.  It feels good to have a fully stocked fridge.

I dove right in to the produce and made a "kitchen sink salad," dressed simply with cracked pepper and a dash of balsamic.  You know the kind- with everything but the kitchen sink.  A nursing mama must make her own nourishment a priority!  And so this is where we are right now....settling into a rhythm, watching our little baby grow and change with each passing day, getting used to our family of four, and just trying our best to thrive in the moment.  I'm so happy to report that it is getting easier with each passing day.

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The First Week

I'd be lying if I said the first week home was an easy one.  You'd think with the help of my mom, dad, brother and husband we could manage...and we do manage, but not without plenty of tears and feelings of being completely overwhelmed.  Balancing the needs of a toddler, with those of a newborn baby seems a nearly impossible task.

Vijay is handling the new addition surprisingly well, given what a huge change has taken place.  He adores the baby (that is unexpected!) and showers him with kisses and pats.  And yet, he is very fragile right now- prone to crying fits for no reason, temper tantrums, back to waking up during the night, needy for his mama, and impatient when I am nursing and can't attend to him.  Luckily, my husband and parents are keeping him active with plenty of visits to the park and pool.  How I'm supposed to keep this up once everyone leaves...I have no idea.  And yet there are moments when both boys are asleep, and the house is in some kind of order, and I think...we're going to make it.  It's going to be okay.

As for baby Vikram...he is all sweetness and joy.  To hold him is to feel at peace.  He is an easy, happy, content baby- nursing, sleeping- it all comes easily to him.  He is already on a great night schedule, waking every 3 hours to nurse, and then right back to sleep.  I can't help but wonder why I thought this baby stuff was so hard the first time around.  Compared with a busy, demanding toddler, it's a piece of cake!

My mom is staying on through Wednesday, and my husband still has some time off.  I am trying not to think about their leaving, and instead I'm using this time to allow my battered body to heal and rest while relying on my 'team' for help around the house and with meals.  I feel like I will never physically be back to my old self- able to run, jump and climb right alongside my boys, able to keep up the house and have the energy to put together a meal at the end of each day.  I hope this will come with time.  As for now, we're all just taking it one moment at a time...that's all we can do, right?  Yesterday, we all made it out of the house for a trip to the pool.  It was relaxing and refreshing and we all made it there and back in one piece.  For the first time since bringing our baby home, I knew it was all going to be okay.

p.s. a loving tribute to my baby from his auntie beth...how lucky are we to have her right across the street?!

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