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He absolutely adores my parents, and like any first time grandparents, they are over the moon with this little boy. While we were in Jamaica last week, Vijay and my dad were big time buddies. Unfortunately, my mom stayed home in Michigan as her out-of-town sisters were visiting, so it was just me and the boys- which, of course, Vijay loved.
My dad is probably the happiest guy I know- he whistles around the house, always has a smile on his face, greets everyone with an enthusiastic, "Hey gang!" and is always up for playing games. Vijay seems to sense this- and therefore wants to be around his grandpa all the time- playing in the pool, sitting on his lap during meals, climbing the stairs to his bedroom to pound on his door at 6am- he couldn't get enough.
The transition back home from this vacation has been tough- and I have been feeling a bit blue. I guess I am questioning why we can't live close to my family. As much as we love Providence, it just doesn't seem fair to have to endure time apart, and the distance that separates us. I am curious- how did you choose where to live? Have you ever considered moving back to your home state just to be close to family? Was it a difficult decision, a sacrifice? Or was it a relief to be back near the support of family? My thinking on this subject changed when I had children- my wanderlust was cured, and I immediately realized just how wonderful it would be to live right down the street from my amazing family. After wanting to escape Michigan for most of my middle and high school years, I am now realizing it's not about the place, it's about the people.
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Every decision has a bit of sacrifice in it. I am also incredibly close to my family, so I chose to live near them even though I wanted to explore elsewhere. For me the sacrifice was "dream job", but living near them has brought in unexpected and unanticipated experiences (via aging and children). Now I am living a "dream life" and I'd never give that up.
We moved near my family while I was pregnant with my first son. In all likelyhood, it has been a great help. But.. we aren't emotionally close to my family. Not me, not really my children.
I wish we could live closer to the family that we've built through friendships made with likeminded families.
I currently live far from my family. We decided to move to another part of the country to try something new for a while. We don't have kids, yet, but hope to soon. I love my family and would like to end up living near them in the next few years. It helps that they live in a wonderful area, which we love and we have great friends there too. Still, I struggle with all of the wonderful options we have. I feel lucky that I can choose where I live, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to.
I struggle with this almost daily. Right now I live far from my family because I wanted to get out of Ohio after high school, but it's taken me a long time to feel comfortable on the East coast. And every time I visit my family, I'm reminded of how hard it is to live so far away from them. So I hear you...it's a tough choice.
I've lived far from my family in Germany for the last 20 years. I don't have children but now that my parents are getting older I'd like to be closer to them. Because it's been so hard for me to find meaningful friendships here on the east coast I miss my family and friends, who I am still very close to, more than ever. Ironically, my (American) husband is now being offered a job in Germany but we probably won't take it because he is worried about the language and more so about what it will do to his relationship with his son from his first marriage who we live close to. If you are close with your family and if you can see yourself back in MI then I would say it is definitely worth considering a move to be nearer to them. No amount of trips can make up for your parents being actively involved in your kids lives and vice versa.
I grew up in Western Michigan and like you couldn't wait to leave. I met my husband the day I graduated from University of Michigan and we moved to Florida. (just for the weather) We have a two year old daughter and now struggle with the same thing. We "face time" a lot and my daughter will cradle and hug the phone and rock back and forth when she talks to her Gramma. For us financially, we are much better off here. My dad passed away over ten years ago so I would love to have my mom close by so I wouldn't worry so much about her and just to have her here to do all the mother/daughter/grandaughter stuff. Hopefully..some day soon my mom can retire and become a snow bird and then all will be well..
I wonder about this a lot. Maybe it's because I'm single so even though my friends are great, sometimes it just feels that I'm by myself. But for some reason I can't quite make myself move back right now. Maybe my wanderlust isn't quite cured yet! But it's getting there.
Darlin'....as your mom would say, make the most of building a 'family' with your friends in Providence and try to see your parents as much as possible. If it ever becomes a reality for you to move back to Birmingham and you want to.....then GO! My boys have a great relationship with their Michigan family because we go every summer.......you, too, can go to your parent's beautiful home in Harbor Springs and build fabulous memories with Vijay and little baby #2. Look up! See the bright side! You have a great place for your family to visit and vice versa. You are very blessed.
I am of another generation having kids your age but I know my kids were blessed to have both sets of grandparents available to them on a daily basis. That is not to say that your beautiful boy will not have a great relationship with grandpa and grandma though and absence can make the heart grow fonder. Skype, internet etc all have made the world a smaller place.
Hi Christine,
I am a born and bred Rhode Islander who moved away to go to graduate school, leaving a boyfriend of several years and all my family and friends behind. I am really lucky in that I've known a group of girls since elementary school and almost every one of them is still in the area. When I was away, I thought I would be too busy to miss them but it made me realize that living near the people I love is the most important thing for me (and the fact they are all in one area helped).
Now that I'm back home however, I am having the most frustrating time EVER finding a job that lets me use all the skills and things I've worked so hard for over the last several years of school. I talk about this a lot with other people and it seems that there is almost always something you give up. Not quite a "sacrifice" . . . but similar.
I do love living near my parents (we don't have kids yet but hope to soon), but I definitely think there is something to be said for quality over quantity. When I see my parents it is usually just for a quick few minutes (and most of the time they are watching TV!). Your Jamaican vacation seemed like true quality family time :)
I hear you.
On so many levels.
We are headed back to MI at the end of March for two weeks...
We skype a lot too. I bet Vijay would love that if you haven't tried it already.
blessings to you and your boys!
I live cross country from my family, and... yes. I do think about the move. At this time, it's just not in the cards, and we like here a lot, but you're right that having kids changes how you feel about the distance.
such a sweet picture. I don't love Albany but it is in between our families which makes it a short drive away. I often long to be nearer my family though. So happy you had a lovely trip to Jamaica. The pictures are gorgeous.
My husband, children and I moved away due to a job transfer. We like where we are, maybe a little better than where we left and it wasn't by choice. But now here's the BIG problem which you might want to consider, everything else being "equal:" Do your parents have the support THEY need? Elderly parents need help you just can't provide from miles away. So if you don't have someone there who will be there for them (not just live close by) then you might want to consider moving back or having them move to you.