While others were busy making resolutions and ringing in the New Year, I was nodding off, trying my very best just to make it to midnight. I wanted to be excited about the coming year, and yet all I really felt was exhaustion. This past month has been a trying month- we have fully entered the toddler phase- and frankly, I think they should make pills for this. A mix of Red Bull, Espresso and a shot of Tequila- in easy-to-swallow pill form. A little something to give you energy, and a lot of something to calm the nerves.
My little guy is beyond adorable- and I cherish the time I spend with him- but the day to day reality of chasing after a toddler is exhausting. The respect that I have for all mothers (especially those of toddler boys!) is through the roof. If you make it through the toddler years with your sanity intact, you deserve a serious gold star.
Vijay happens to be of the variety that is not interested in playing with toys, or reading books, or doing crafty projects- he simply likes to walk/run, jump off ledges/ beds/ couches/ stairs, and throw everything and anything- you can't take your eyes off of him for a minute or he will find some life-threatening trouble to get himself into. He is a whirling ball of motion- only stopping to collapse into bed twice a day- once for a nap, and once at night. And I am right there ready to collapse along with him. As we move into the New Year, I find myself lacking the energy to make a resolution. My only goal: survival. Make it through the day, plan enough activities to wear him out, stumble into bed by 8:30pm, wake up and do it all over again.
Does it get easier? Next year, at this time, will I have the energy to adjust my goals to something other than just surviving? Here's hoping!
Posts
I hear you!! You're in good company, but it's hard to tell because we're all doing the same thing as you. I'm afraid to tell you that it will get harder before it gets easier, but I think it will help you in the long run to know the hard truth. There are things that get better and better, too, though, just to even things out a bit.
My girls are about to turn three and I'm scared stiff because my experience tells me that age 3 is the toughest of all.
God bless the moms. Heaven knows we need it! ;) Hang in there, you're doing a great job!
Hi Christine, my kids are 21, 16 and 12. Looking back it WAS the exhaustion that was the most difficult thing of all. But it will get better and you are doing a great job. Raising kids is tough and being able to bend to the circumstances of the moment is the best advice I can give you. Each stage has it's own set of difficulties. Over Christmas, we watched home movies of when our kids were small. They were wonderful to watch but I also had a touch of sadness as to where all the years had gone, and so quickly it seems. When you're in it, it can seem all-consuming at the tough parts. But continue to savour your beautiful moments. Later, you will have the most beautiful memories to look back on. Enjoy.
Sandra
I totally hear you!!! I had a hard time in the time between age one and two. They just aren't all that interested in toys or art or much of anything yet. My little one finally began holding a crayon/scribbling at 16 months. Much of her time was spent running around/gross motor development. You will learn to embrace it, accept it and roll with it. But that doesn't mean it's easy. I remember feeling the same way, thinking to myself "I have to give up the little plans I had for myself right now and just immerse myself in this new world for a while...for survival." It helped me get through the days. My best advice as you find ways to embrace this "place" is to find lots of safe places for him to expend his energy. There are lots of businesses out there that are indoor play gyms geared toward toddlers. The first obvious ones are "Little Gym" and "Gymboree" type classes. One place in Maynard, MA (near where I live) is a place called "Jam Time" and it's for babies through age 6. It's got toys, climbing structures, bouncy house etc. with a place for parents to sit/wi-fi and the fee is 10 bucks for the whole day and you only pay for the kiddo. I wonder if any places like that are around you? Then, you can just bring him in and let him at it until he's good and tired and he's not destroying the house. I think, also, this is an age that is good to make sure and locate a good babysitter who you can call on occasion so you can get a date night or "me time" to refuel. It's a much more draining time on you than before. During his play, he is learning so many great things about balance, sensory integration, and using his body in space/motor planning. Since this is his current focus, it's a good time to find lots of challenges for his body. As he gets closer to two he will likely start changing focus to more fine motor tasks, imaginative tasks, arty pursuits, etc. and it will be another new world. It never gets dull, does it? It seems to always be something. My new credo that I chant to myself is "accept, accept, accept." (and then I pass out in my bed).
Hello,
I have a little girl around the same age, and she's totally into the dare devil stuff right now. She has a little chair that she loves standing on, which means I always have to spot her while she climbs up and down. And she loves the stairs and anything that terrifies her mommy. It feels like I haven't gotten proper sleep in ages. So, I hear ya! They'll get bigger, and hopefully stop wearing us out quite as much. I have much more I could say on the matter, but it's taking me 5 times as long to write this comment with a wee one at my knee. Good luck in 2012!
My boys are almost 2, 3, and 9. My nine year old is just as insane and tiring as the younger two. I suspect it gets less strenuous.. once they move out! (:
It does get better Christine. Try to make plenty of playdates, in a way that is good for you too--you'll find moms in the same boat and you'll make lasting connections. Once he enters preschool, things will get much better. Five years back, I would have laughed if someone had told me that people would compliment me on what a well behaved gentleman my little one is. There's hope, you just need to hang in there! You're doing a great job just being there for him!
PS: totally agree with everything Megan said up there---that is some excellent advice!
I have a boy roughly the same age as your little guy and an older daughter who just turned 6, and I have to say, for me at least, it doesn't seem to get easier, the challenges that drain your energy reserves just change. I find my 6 year old wears me out faster than my 15 month old, and it gets worse as her social life grows! But it does get more and more interesting as they grow, and you do get a bit of grown up and alone time back once they start nursery/school. I have found second time around I'm more relaxed about the climbing and exploring, guess we've been there done that!
i feel your pain!
to help with this same sort of stuff, we joined the Y recently and have been going to "tumble time". it's 2x a week and the toddlers can run, jump, play, throw, spin, flop & climb to their hearts content. ada loves it as she seems to be "one of the boys", but i do look around a notice it's mostly little guys! good luck, now i know why people used to tell me to appreciate it when they were immobile! xo *s
And men wonder why women are not in the mood at the end of the day! LOL!
It truly is exhausting and it won't stop anytime soon. Like Vixanne said, the challenges just change. Especially if you decide to have another one! At least once he goes off to preschool you'll have a little room to catch your breath. I still can't believe little Vijay is running!
Christine...As mama to four I can tell you it ebbs and flows. Some days are harder than others. Some ages more challenging than the next. The best advice I can give you is to make sure you do have time for you. When mama is happy EVERYONE is happy. I like the idea of a babysitter. One for a date with your honey- that is crucial- so you still feel like someone other than mama, and someone that can help one or two days a week for a few hours in the morning. Time for you to create or just sit by yourself with a latte in hand relaxing.
It's taken me a long time to realize this. I felt as though I weren't "doing my job" if I had a babysitter, had help, etc. What I do know now is that we can't to do it ALL. Once I finally realized that I was so much happier! And free to be a little more "me". Remember Squam when we met? That was me deciding it was time. I needed it and it was the hardest thing I had done short of labor. Look how that turned out to be a pivotal moment in my life. My children and honey are happier for it too.
It sounds to me as though you need to give to "you" as well and know that in the end it will all work out. Never how you imagine it to, which is the best surprise of all. Sending loving New Year wishes your way.
Kellen
too funny about your combination for the magic pill because every morning I have a red bull, coffe extra shot of expresso and when I get home a glass of wine, or a vodka and seltzer, or a shot of patron.. lol..wrong of me? maybe but with an active sone and daughter it gets me through and keeps me sane.. you can do it.. you will find your stride..
Just keep swimming... just keep swimming. I have a 9 yr old girl and 6 and 4 yr old boys. Ironically, it was the girlchild who was my one who never stopped moving.
Activities! Swim lessons, gym classes, play groups... I had to have about 4-6 hours of activities daily to keep her from climbing the walls. Now she is pretty much the same, but she discovered drawing and legos. So... kids come preinstalled with their personalities and they're just that way. It's up to us to help 'em accentuate the positive aspects and minimize the negative. I always liken my daughter to one of those dogs you must run 2 hours daily or they shew your shoes. As long as I do my jobs, she's great. If I slack, then watch out for the shoes!! ;)
I have 3 kids - boy who is now 12, girls who are 10 and 7. I always say the year between 1 and 2 is the hardest. They are mobile, have limited vocabulary and haven't discovered gravity yet. It does get better I think as they play more, expand their vocabulary and find out that falling hurts!
My youngest I ended up enrolling in a parents day out program for a few hours 2 mornings a week when she was 2. I just needed a break. I also did a lot of swimming/tumbling/music classes with all of mine. It gave them an outlet and gave me a chance to chat with other moms while we were at it. That made it better for me than the isolation of solo entertaining all day long. I needed one thing like that almost everyday to not feel like I was going to climb the walls, especially in the winter when meeting up with friends at the park wasn't in the cards.
Susan
From my view over here, you ARE already doing so much more than surviving! I come to your site to be inspired by the wonderful things you make with your hands, photograph, and write about. I admire that you are finding the time to cultivate these things in yourself- one of MY New Year's Resolutions, in fact. :)
Danielle (and Mari)