Empty Nest

I returned from New Hampshire to find that the little robin's nest, perched on the fir tree outside our front door, is now empty.  Before our trip, we had been eagerly observing the nest, peering through the branches as the little blue eggs turned into naked chicks.  I felt a kinship with the mother, watching as she tirelessly searched for food, returning to the nest with plump worms.  My heart warmed as I watched her babies peek their heads over the edge of the nest, mouths wide open, waiting for their meal.  I knew that look...my own babe does the same thing when its time to nurse.  His little mouth has always reminded me of a baby bird.

Now the nest is empty, and I am not sure what happened to the mom and her babes, but my heart breaks for her.  I have a sinking feeling that a predator of some kind attacked the nest, wiping out the entire brood.  I searched online, late last night, to see if it might be possible that the chicks had fledged the nest...but everything I read told me that it was too soon for that.

And so I am left to wonder, and to empathize.  Do mother bird's feel pain and grief for the loss of their babies?  I believe they do- as I watched her fiercely protect the nest that she had lovingly built, I had no doubt that she felt as strongly for her young as I do for mine.  Perhaps it is these crazy hormones that cause me to tear up every time I pass her nest...or perhaps I am already mourning the passing of time as I watch my baby become more grown up with each passing day.  No longer does he passively lay in my arms, or sleep on my chest. 

He is busy now, sitting, crawling, trying to stand.  I am so proud of all that he is learning to do...but at the same time, I miss those early days, when he was content to lay peacefully, his soft little head right next to my heart, for hours on end. 

A friend, after reading of my trying travels, wrote me an email reminding me that, "The days are long, but the years are short," as her baby was now graduating from college, and she was left to wonder where the time had gone.  It was the perfect reminder to savor every single moment spent with my little guy, even those exhausting, trying moments.  He is learning to venture farther from his mama, crawling furiously from room to room, and I am running after him, learning how to hold on, learning how to let go.