Darkest Days

I don't usually talk about deeply personal things in this space, but today, I am going to break that rule.  I have a sense that what I am going through is something that many women out there have been through, so I feel that honesty is needed.  

Back in early December, my husband and I found out we were expecting.  Needless to say we were thrilled.  As the weeks went by, it occupied our every thought.  The excitement we felt was palpable and friends and family shared in our joy, especially over the holidays, when we were all together.

But early this week, I started bleeding and it has not stopped.  We lost the baby yesterday and I feel a sense of hopelessness that I have never before felt in my life.  Although we were only at 8 weeks, this little life had become a part of our daily conversations, our daily routines.  I know that eventually, the joy that I once felt will come sneaking back in to my life.  But right now, I feel that I am barely able to go through the motions.

Because I appreciate each and every one of you stopping by and spending a little part of your day here, I don't feel right posting half-heartedly.  I will be back when this darkness has lifted. It could be in a few days, maybe in a few weeks.  But when I get back, I hope that it is with a renewed sense of hope and a new appreciation for the small joys of everyday life.  Until then, take care.  I will be back and I hope you will be too.

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